Skyrim Parody

Hey (Insert Clever Name Here),

You wont believe what i just saw, its a video of a parody of one of Lady Gaga's new songs; except i think you are going to love this parody; it is called Marry the Night, (Skyrim Parody). It is ridiculous and hilarious, when i saw it i just could not believe what i was seeing. (Insert Another Clever Name Here) put it up on facebook and (Insert Third Clever Name Here) showed me. Its a parody of the song, but its using all kinds of references to Skyrim, it is so funny; it is also using live footage of game play.

Its really fun to watch the video because of the cut-scenes; they made sure to grab as many as possible. Love the way they give a panorama view from the top of a mountain, they did a great job with choosing the scenes. I loved the two-handed cut-scenes that they showed too. It was really nice, and it reminded me how the spider are so much fun to fight; it is so unfair, I MISS SKYRIM!

Wish they had put some magic into it though, i don't believe there are any scenes with magic in it unfortunately. The person who did this either doesn't like magic or it may just have been because of the lyrics. I still wish they could have had more magic, but what i really wished was in this video was dragons, theres only one scene with a dragon and thats the one intro. I mean dragons would have been great for the video, but i do not know why they didn't put them in.

Either way, i loved this video and i really enjoyed. I'm hoping you enjoy it too. Here is the link for that video, its so funny lol. Heres the link Skyrim Parody.

(Insert Last Clever Name Here).

The Zombie Infection

(Last Paragraph is the informative portion of this blog, the first two are foreplay. Enjoy! :)

What I have come here to speak to you of is dangerous, radical, unbelievable, necessary. It is vital to the eventual peace of our race, it is The Refining of the Zombie Virus. My idea is based on the comparison of humans to zombies. A human, when they turn into a zombie, have much of the same physical abilities only they have lost small bit of their intelligence and most of their memories, in most cases. This is one of the side effects of the transformation. The basic goal of my dream is to refine the virus so that it has a smoother transition, making a less painful change from zombie to human without the memory-loss; in addition to increasing the physical and mental capabilities of the newly treated humans or zombies. The ultimate goal, a super-zombie, with which the human race can finally be destroyed and the Phoenix Empire can BE REBORN! (imagine dramatic rallying cry; shouts of excitement; masses of zombies crying, "FOR THE EMPIRE...FOR THE EMPIRE!")

  Imagine, a world full of peace among zombie-kind where humans no-longer plague us, existing only as nightmares told to our children to make them take their medicine. A world which was cleansed of the human stench and ushered into a lasting peace at the hand of the Super-Zombie! Refining the Virus so that we can create Super-Zombie similar to Alice, only with the welfare of the Empire at heart; This is what we must do, this is what must be done! (More Cheering)

The movies I picked as my film and zombie-culture sources are the first three Resident Evil films. The element from these movies that clearly represents the possibilities of this endeavor is the effect that the T-Virus has Alice, the main Protagonist. Alice was born with a genetic abnormality which, when she is infected with this virus, causes it to bond with he DNA essentially turning her into a super-zombie. (She is technically a "zombie" because she is still infected with the virus, the only difference is that the virus affected her differently.) She is a perfect example of the dream which I wish to fulfill, a zombie with super-human, no super-zombie strength and agility as well as massively amplified mental capacities combined with psionic abilities. (Psionics being the references to telekinetic and extreme premonitory abilities.)

What does it mean to a Zombie to be "Whole?"

"What does it mean for a zombie to be "whole?" Who ever said that every zombie MUST have this or MUST have that. Why must zombie be pressed into the mold that our previous humans lives have place on us. We don't and we will never have too. WE ARE ZOMBIES, NOT HUMANS!"

When i heard these words, all those years ago from inside the East Coast Phoenix Inc. headquarters, i didn't think about them. I was a guard for the clinc on the ground floor. It was two days before the riots. We all thought they were lunatics, driven mad by their transformation from human to zombie, and that they were just protesting just to protest. The surgeons who were performing the surgical procedures always told us the same thing, "We are doing this to help zombies," and "Humans will keep trying to kill us unless we can relate, this is the first step."

I took me years to realize the truth, that we zombies DON'T need to change. HUMANS MUST ACCEPT US AS WE ARE! A zombie doesn't need four limbs, two hands, a whole head; we are all zombies, no matter what we look like or what we are missing. The zombie prosthetics which Phoenix Inc. was developing to replace the missing portions or body may have been meant to allow zombies to relate to humans, as a foundation for peace, but we are zombies and these prosthetics take away our zombanity. They are meant to control us; they were created to force us to mimic humans and now i see that.

I once used my abilities to protect those who openly sought to bring peace between zombies and humans by uniformity, but our strength isn't in being the same; our strength comes from our diversity, Humans gather strength from their varity in size, shape, and color, but our strength dosen't come from any of those, it comes from our diversity in body parts. Those who are missing an arm are brought closer together through co-operation and those who have only one leg teach others how to trust and support each other.

I believe all zombies are whole and that no zombie needs fake, metal limbs to be a zombie. Our zombanity comes from us, not from how many fingers or toes we have. We are zombies, ZOMBIES. Humans must learn to live with us, not force us to become them. ZOMBIES UNITED!

The Fight

This story is being presented from three perspectives. First, it is describing one side of a conversation between me and a friend when we are discussing a fight that I had watched earlier that day. Second, it is describing the conversation between me and the principal, a conversation where he is interrogating me about what I had seen of the same fight. Lastly, I am teaching students the same two techiques which I described in the previous conversation. This is meant to show just how your terminology changes depending on who your talking to.


Friend:
     I couldn't believe it. He swung at him, a full on wild punch; id be surprised if he would have even done any damage if he hit. But he didn't get close. Mark just ducked under and put him in a chicken wing, then he brought him down into a figure four. It was so funny; felt sorry for the kid though. He had no idea who he was fighting.

Principal:
    Yes, sir. I was there. No, sir he did not throw the first punch. Yes, sir it was in self-defense. Well, um, he ducked and blocked his punch. It was an accident, if your not careful you can easily break a persons arm with a technique like that; the chicken wing, sir. It was an accident. No, taking him to the ground was just to make sure he could hold until someone came. Yes, that was intentional. It is called a figure four, sir.


Student:
   Ok, today we are going to be learning two new techniques. The first is called the Chicken Wing. Here let me show you. Ok, now slower this time. See, when someone grabs your wrist, you first break free, then twist under their arm; but keep your grip on their hand like this. This allows you to manipulate them from behind and lets you guide them to where you want them to go. This works because it is locking their elbow joint and threatening to break it. Careful when practicing this, do it to quick and you could snap their arm. If you want to take them down, as well, you can use this technique instead. It can play off of the chicken wing too, but be careful when you use this......

The Story

My assignment was to translate a story from one medium to another. The idea for my example of this translation is that of Literary Deconstruction, my goal; to write a story which would appeal to all who read it.


Please remember, that the following story has but one interpretation. For those who understand Literary Deconstruction, know that the meaning you find in this story was intentional.


Jeremiah Black, from a country town, wondered upon a city.
This city was bright, beautiful-like, and seemed to welcome ya home.
So good ol' Jeremiah, kept on awandering, till he ran into man who called himself, Mr. White.
A tall young man, a touch of a lanky type, who asked him, "May I help you?"

So Jeremiah, being a good country boy, answered, "Ya sure could,"
Ignoring the expression which crossed White's face, "I'm a new 'round here."
"Ahm," he sniffs, kind of like ol Lucas at home, that is until he sees a cat,
Then of like a shot, ol Lucas goes, on all four furry legs, just a blur sprinting past ya head.
"I can help you," he remarks, a odd look in his eye,
"Of course i can help you, its just you haven't said what your looking for."
Jeremiah, kind of slow a mite, realizes what he forgotten to say,
"Oh, why i apologize to ya. I did done forgot to think of a destination."
"I see," he responds, while he seems to be trying to sniff something in the air.
"I would suggest you go back home, i don't think your ready to be here."
Then without ado, he turned on around, and sauntered on down  the road.
"A mite odd, that fella. Oh well, he's probably right. Anyways, i'ma over due at home for meal time."
So ol Jeremiah, went on home, to his family and animals and friends.
And to this here day, ol Jeremiah Black, don't remember where that city had been.
He looked often, till he got tired one day and gave up for good that city.

All Beautiful-like and brilliant and bright, yet lost now in his wanderings.
So resigned did he, to his days at the plow, working on his family's plot.
Plantations were fine, compared to where he begun, so who is he to start complaining.
Yet that ol city, never left him alone, till the day he died.
Tis almost like a dream, maybe a vision meant for him, ya know the strange things some folk see.
But, ol Jeremiah Black, went on home, to live out his, where he chose to be.

Compare and Contrast (Discrimination...hehehehe)

This assignment was to compare two very different, yet very similar articles and to ask questions about then; analysis, examine, pick apart, speak (write) thoughtfully, create an understanding of the two individual articles. In a way, ask question which point out the individuality of the articles, while at the same time ask questions submitting the articles to deindividuation.

The initial article discusses an attitude which predominates our society, feminism. The author of this article, "There is No Unmarked Women," defends this attitude with her discussion and conclusions, though i truly believe that was not her intent. Her article describes the standards that she feels are pressed onto women by the society, including men and other women; discussing how every woman is "marked" by the way she dresses or acts. When a women dresses in a certain way, or she acts a certain way she is instantly labeled whether that label is true or not; essentially no women goes through her day without having to find a mold, a model, which she is comfortable with and is willing to maintain. She must choose how people see her. Tannen's view is that only women are subjected to this pressure, that when you look at men they do not suffer from being forced to fit a mold or follow a pattern otherwise people will think you odd and society will reject you. In her eye's, this punishment appears to be reserved for and intended solely for women, not men.

This article is supposed to be compared to one by a man named McRaney. His article, Deindividuation, discusses something similar, yet very different. He examines the habit and instinct to follow the crowd, go with the flow, be part of the group, or in other, more simple words, participate. He talks about how when people are within a crowd, that if they are not careful; they will lose themselves to the impulse and emotion of the crowd. People are much more willing to do things that contradict their own nature when they are with a group because they are no longer the sole instigator, they aren't alone anymore, others are also responsible. He talks about how that is the reason why kids going trick-or-treating on halloween, when told to take one candy, no more, and then are left alone, become greedy when their with a group, yet alone it is harder and they are not  as willing to be greedy. This habit, coupled with another habitual nature of humanity, herding, is the reason that large crowds can very easily teeter on the edge between insane rioting and peaceful dispersion. All it takes is one yell, one swing; or one calming voice, one smooth peaceful gesture.

The thing that ties these two articles together stronger than they probably ever were intended to be, is that they both describe the same thing. Tannen describes a world where women are suppressed and forced to fit a mold that is determined usually by other men, and McRaney describes a world where everyone  is given the choice, follow the flow or stick out. They speak of the exact same things. Tannen is a feminist, because she focuses on the suppression of women to the exclusion of men. (No, i am not saying we know anything about what you go through, nor am i saying its nothing compared to what we go through. Just remember, just as every person is different, so are men and women.) McRaney is being the Psychologist, because he is focusing on the mental and psychological pressures and forces that are exerted within a crowd and the effects they have. Essentially, they each are exactly the same, only one is more narrowly focused than the other.

Tannen isn't wrong, don't misunderstand me. I agree with a lot of what she says. Women are pushed to fit a mold and a form which the society considers beautiful or intelligent, successful or correct; what i do not agree with Tannen on is the origin and the limit. This mold does not originate even mostly from men, it originates of people, CEO's if you want or even your Parents. (Oh, don't forget the teachers and role models who helped form or country either, after all they did give us a mold didn't they, the very mold which is now becoming abused. Freedom to Choose.) Tannen forgets that men are also forced into their molds as well, just as much as women, though women usually are the only ones who realize it. Men are pushed into becoming a jock, a "successful" cut-throat (Public Relations) official, an intelligent, ambitious fool who refuses to admit when he is wrong or other things. (A father who plays with his son, a teacher who loves his students and helps them, a husband who truly loves and is faithful to his wife.) This pier pressure, which is what it is, is forced upon men as well. It isn't something that is wrong. Every person must fill a gap, a gap of identity and place; whether the gap is from mimicking your father or mother, or copying your friends even to living like someone famous. (or infamous.)

McRaney was discussing the same thing, only on a larger scale. The innate quality which we all hold safely in our hearts and mind, identity. The viewpoint from which McRaney approached this examination was from out side the crowd, looking down on the men and women who blend and mingle, becoming so similar to each other, yet being so different at the same time. He examined the behavior that we all revert to when we are surrounded by masses of people, because unless we are aware of it, we all try to fit in; the mold in this situation is then determined not by men or women but by the crowd. It is exactly what Tannen was saying, only the victim wasn't and innocent women who unwittingly fell into this mold devised by men to hold her bound, but instead the victim is simply the person who gets caught in the crowd, who feels the rush and exhilaration from the crowd, who hears someone yell and gets the irresistible eager to yell as well, (even while wondering, "Wait, what am i yelling again?") This sensation, this thrill, this desire and need to fit in simply to be accepted is innate in us all, and can only be resisted when you are aware of it.

These articles, though they appear different, both analysis the same thing. The human desire to fit in, to be liked, to be understood and wanted. There are difference in these arguments and articles, but the only differences are the groups upon which they focus and the aspect of this nature which they analysis. We are all human, and as human beings, we need interaction and warmth; whether from people, animals, or books. We were designed to need something. Be careful what mold you fall into, and be careful what you choose to fill that void.

My Job

Today's topic is, "My Job." Yes, i know, "Your Job? That's it?" Yes, i am talking about My Job. I am going to describe one of the most interesting and most unusual jobs I have ever had. Don't worry, it wont be too boring; i hope at least.


Well, anyways on to my job. I am the Box Office assistant to the Theatre Department Box Office Manager. Normal, right? Anything but. I admit, the job itself is kind of ordinary and dull, just doing small little projects like using a God-Slaying sword to keep the Evil Swamp Goddess Becka in check and even working with Slims the Fuzzy-Brained skeleton that was hired as the other office assistant, do not let him take off his hat. I know its not that weird, but i guess that's just because your in the Theatre.










Another oddity i have noticed, and i have to admit it is really funny, is that practically everyone i have meet in the Theatre Department likes either Firefly or Doctor Who. I mean all i have to do is glance down the hall and I either see a Tardis shoot by my head, or a Brown-coat running yelling, "Independence!" Its worth it though, no matter how normal it seems. Its worth it, even the dead body that says "I love you" doesn't stick out to much.

Either way, I like my job, because it is SO interesting. You want to know why its so interesting? I GET COOKIES!!! NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD, especially since i hate the dark side. Well, anyways, that is my bore ole job. I hope you find it kind of interesting, thanks for listing to my ranting.......oh, its time for work....................(mumbles) hurray.....

The Horizon

I was wondering through the Museum of the North one morning, when I noticed a beautiful painting. The reason that this particular painting caught my eye was the way in which it depicted a beautiful horizon over a forest splattered with greens and yellows and oranges. This forest, spreading outwards, was a gorgeous forest during the fall, the greens from the Evergreen Trees mixing with the yellows and oranges of the rest of the forest, but a simple picture of a forest during the fall isn’t what caught my attention. This was a painting of two worlds, the forest and nature, untouched by anything other than the swaying of the wind and wet of raindrops; this forest was split in two, bisected right across the middle by a thin line of grey stone and metal structures. This building, just peeking up over the tips of the trees, represented the little civilization that existed in this painting. You could see the little cars driving on the road running alongside those drab, banal structures; sharp corners, hard colors, flat, static. This new “Horizon” meandering across this field of trees just seemed so out of place, yet it perfectly fit. The last part of this painting which truly caught my eye was the real “Horizon” beyond the trees and the streak of stone and steel. This “Horizon” was one of imagination, embodied by the mountains which framed the whole picture, mountains capped by clouds of white. The land beyond, the “Horizon” beyond these mountains was a guess, a world yet to be discovered; presenting by its very nature, a world of imagination and adventure.

This world is the reason I loved this painting. The colors, the forest, the streak of grey stone cutting across; all capped off with a world where nothing can be seen, the mountains hidden by the clouds, a world hidden by the mountains. When I saw this and stared at it, I couldn’t help but feel the desire to discover, and imagine, “What is past those mountains?” I wanted to find out, and when I saw those structures, I wanted to find them and see what they were. This painting showed a picture of our world, massive and complex with circles within circles. Then you see the part of our would which we have tamed, the part which we have dissected and examined, researched and analyzed; you then realize how little we actually know about a world designed in such a way that we may have theories that work and are reliable but we will never truly know more than a small fraction of what is around us. The final part of this painting, the mountains of imagination, capped in the snowy clouds mystery, yes I realize that was over poetic and over dramatic; this world is what we will never know in this life, a world where everything and anything that you can imagine could exist. Skyscrapers that reach the moon, tunnels to the Center of the World, the Family we always wanted, the lost dreams and lost hopes we have forsaken as impossible or hopeless; thrown away simply because we aren’t willing to keep on trying. This world of the imagination is the source of the hope and beauty which this painting showed me.

P.S. In case you every get the chance to see this painting, I just wanted to tell you where it was. Walk up the stairs to the second floor and stop three-fourths of the way up, and look out the window. Everything I just described to you is painted across the earth and the sky, and on a clear day it is beautiful. We must never forget the beauty which surrounds us every day and often stares us in the face and we never notice.

Close Encounters

Imagine, if you can, a home that is so peaceful and calm. Mama is in the garage, you see her walking from one side to the other; sorting this and that, asking papa if he would pick this up or that. Scotty is at your feet barking and growling at everyone and anyone who passes by. He has his tiny little tail wagging back and forth so quickly all you see is a blur. Every time he yaps his whole body lifts off the floor, just barely hopping up from the force of his "mighty" bark. You smile as you look out from the garage, watching the beautiful day progress. The sun slowly, sluggishly meanders across the sky, sneaking in and out of the clouds like poorly skilled thief trying to escape. Then you see your friends, and they are happy to see you; excited. You run out to them and follow them to their house where you play soccer, tips, tag, cops and robbers, and any other game you can think of. Just imagine a day so uncomplicated and simple. A calm relaxing exciting enjoyable day. Whatever you are imagining, i only wish that was how my day had gone.

It was a sunny beautiful day alright; a perfect day, for an accident. I remember the birds singing in the background, a soft cackling song; almost as if the birds themselves knew what would happen. It was my first day driving; I was terrified. I remember the feel of the grip, the drivers seat, thinking about how everything my dad had taught me seemed so far from reach. I looked down the road to my goal, only a short ride and then i can stop i thought; at least that was the plan. I looked up into the sky, every color vivid as my heart pounded in my ears. I could feel the blood rushing, hear the pressure. Papa was coaching me on how to start again, reminding me of when to put pressure on the pedal, when to break, how hard, how often. His voice started to fade like a voice on the wind, one moment giving advice, the next gone. As i steeled my nerves, thinking, "Come on you can do it, only a short run, thats all, come on James, come on..." I looked to make sure my path was clear, as i was taught. I then prepared to floor that pedal...ok maybe not floor, but i can dream, especially when my hearts pounding. Then, I WAS OFF!!! pedaling my two-wheeler down that drive-way, the first time i  had ever rode without training wheels. IT WAS GLORIOUS!!! I felt free, excited, invincible, like i was going to hit the bottom of that drive-way and then I WAS GOING TO GO AROUND THE BLOCK!!! NOTHING COULD STOP ME!!! Until, out of no where a wall of silver slid in front of me. I couldn't stop, i was going to fast, I WAS GOING FAST.

The next thing i know, i was laying on the ground, the wall of silver popped out and started reaching for me; only then did i realize that this vicious silver wall was a care i hadn't seen. They had been at the mail-box across the street. Some how, don't even know to this day, i hadn't seen them. When i took off, they were backing up. Those birds knew it would happen, they knew it. Fortunately, neither i or the car were damaged. This memory is one of the few from my early childhood which i still remember to this day. I think about it every now and then, the day when i took my first spin down the drive-way. This is my Close-Encounter.

(P.S. For you information, it has since been proven that in neighborhoods where children are just learning to ride a two-wheeler, If birds are singing, the chance of an accident has been proven to go up by 67%. Just saying, BIRDS FAULT!!!)

Forms of Communication

My example of an effective form of communication is something i learned from a friend, a very...um...interesting friend. Either way, its a form of talking...you know...kind of like the dialects we all have, the are prevalent all over the country and the world. This is but one of many, one thats special to me.

The reason its so effective, in my opinion, is because it portrays such an amazing personality that no matter what you just have to laugh...you cant help it. This form of talking, practically a different language rather than a dialect, is so ridiculous that people just cant believe their ears.

Either way, since you probably still don't have an idea of what i am talking about, if you really want to know, listen to this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnEW8fTKwn4

Silence.............

You know, I once heard the idea that sometimes the most important things aren’t said out loud at all, they are felt in the awkward silence that follows odd statements, you important things like, “WHAT was THAT!?!” or “……who are you?” and don’t ever forget my favorite, “heh…heh…ALLRIGHTY now…heh…ummmmm.”This are the important things that are never said, but are always…ALWAYS felt. 

So I just wanted to show you how the things you say are not the only effective means of communication, often times, silence holds all the answers. In the true spirit of communication, here is my translation everything i just said,

"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           "

Wow, i hope you understood me. These awkward silences just don't last.